[Sunday November 26th, 2006 7:42pm] oh, how things have changed. READ (0) CMNT

E is for everything, even when we see it through [Saturday October 7th, 2006 1:22pm] [ mood | silly ] [ music | the format ] i havent updated in a really long time, so ill go ahead and do that now.. mariah has been in michigan since tuesday, and she isnt coming back til sunday.. we kinda left things at a rocky point since our homecoming fiasco,  but things seemed fine when she came and grabbed movies, so im assuming we're okay.. last friday was probably one of the best nights of my life! sophie was in town, it was our homecoming game night, and afterwards we did a whole lotta stuff and  it was really fun. martinez got his liscense on tuesday and its really weird to be driving with him last night i went to my cousins house for this big dinner with the rest of the fam,  it was kinda boring but the food was good and we watched the new degrassi episode which, by the way, is really intense. today im going to the mall with martinez and i dont know who else, and tonight im hanging out with bekka. which will be super because we havent hung out  in a really long time. idk what we're gonna do though, we might just have a movie night, but  i've heard about a bunch of parties so maybe i can talk her into going out. well i gotta go take a shower, maybe ill be better at updating this thing.. READ (1) CMNT

[Saturday July 22nd, 2006 7:26pm] [ music | the scene aesthetic - beauty in the breakdown ] i didnt have a boyfriend all year, just stupid flings with stupid boys who turned out to be jerks. i miss the feeling i had when i did have a boyfriend. like someone i know i could go to no matter what. someone who could hold me when i needed it. i know there will always people that will be there for me, but i need more than that. i miss going on dates i miss kissing and hugging and all that mushy gooshy stuff. its been such a long time sinec ive felt like this. i just want to crawl under my blankets and watch the O.C. until everything blows over. (usually i would add me eating a whole gallon of ice cream, but im trying this new thing where i dont eat too much.) its a lost cause cuz lately ive been pushing the ones i love most away from me. i dont know why, i just dont feel like its worth it anymore or something. its more like me being afraid of getting hurt, again. which is dumb because i should be taking chances and making the best out of everything i have. but sometimes things that have happened in the past hurt to much for me to put myself out there. i guess i've just gotta get over everything. READ (2) CMNT

summer [Saturday June 10th, 2006 9:57pm] [ mood | tired ] [ music | AC/DC ] so its been a while since ive updated this thing i guess i have a lot to talk about then. so schools out, im no longer a freshman but im not technically a sophomore either.. well whatever thats not the point. the point is, im supposed to spend my summer doing nothing annd staying out late and waking up late..right? well apperently my parents have different plans. im being forced to work. when you are fifteen its expected to work at least part time. HEY GUYS IM STILL FOURTEEN WORKING 8 HOURS A DAY. i guess its only for three days a week, but when i have to spend all that time with my dad (im working at his office, most boring place EVER)it sucks asssss. im getting paid well though so its okay.. well, other than that, its just been summer. we had another big sleepover at amanda hurleys house, which was soooo much fun and we definitely need to do it again OH and yesterday, brandon, nick, will, and shudde decided to wake me up earlier than i intended, and we went swimming at my house. well, they didnt have bathing suits. so they swam in their boxers hahahah and we got on my roof and jumped in from there. it was so tight. but somehow my mom found out about that and she was a teeeensy bit angry, but i didnt get in trouble or anything. lately, other than yesterdays swimming adventure, i have just been hanging out with myself. mariah is in san fransisco for like 2 weeks, and i dont really feel like bothering anyone else so i have been workking, and sleeping, and watching OC. what a great way to waste my summer right? well i think its fine. i dont have to be out doing something every minute of my life. next weekend im going to california with my dad, my brother, my cousin mikey, my brothers friend casey, and bekka. i think it will be so much fun i love california. too bad we're only going for a weekend. but whatevaaa. i guess this was just one of those updates where i just catch you up on whats been happening in my life lately. i know theres more to it than just this, way more drama (be glad you missed it) but whatever. i probably wont be back on here for a while, so ill make sure i make my life interesting for the next time i update. have a great summer everyone. READ (2) CMNT

[Thursday April 13th, 2006 10:35pm] [ mood | disappointed ] [ music | zero 7 - destiny ] its been a while since ive updated and definitely a lot has gone on ha too much to type, and some of it i cant. well schools almost over crazy huh? thirty something days left. (i stopped keeping track) we were all so excited last year to be where we are now i remember my graduation night like it was yesterday way back in the day come to think of it, that was almost a year ago almost, not quite. i look back on this year and i think i did okay as a freshman i didnt totally screw up like hardcore i didnt lose my parents trust i have so many new friends that i plan to keep and i had to many good times and good memories that i dont want to forget. ive experienced almost everything i planned to this year. i'm excited for summer, but im sad that this is one fourth of our high school years already gone. i mean, can you believe it? next year we wont be switching schools, we will be sophmores. ill still be at sunnyslope ill make sure this summer is one not to forget. this one will be one that sticks with me forever. i hope you guys had a good year READ (5) CMNT

[Sunday March 26th, 2006 11:59am] [ mood | nauseated ] [ music | bad day ] things happen unexpectedly a lot i mean, things happen with friends u never thought would two friends for me at least. one, my best friend. well one of them at least. and i hate that she wont even tell me whats going on anymore. the other, i thought i could trust. and i ended up getting blown off. and thats why i spend my saturday nights, in an empty house watching OC reruns. i mean, even my 12 year old brother went out my dad went out drinking with my uncle and i stayed home becuase of those two people that just choose not to call me back  or made up lame excuses. i miss mariah. she needs to come home now. i miss sophie. i dont see her enough. but what can ya do? the truth is, id give anything to be friends again. READ (1) CMNT

[Saturday March 18th, 2006 11:05pm] [ music | so contagious - acceptance ] yeah, so spring break is pretty much over. its 11 oclock pm on saturday night. and tomarrow is a sunday filled with homework and well pretty much just homework. so i dunno. my break was relaxing. somewhat boring at times, but relaxing. i basically just watched movies the whole time. and i hung out with skye and jordan a lot. do you ever get the feeling that you are losing one of your best friends to someone else? do you ever feel like you cant compete with someone else? like theres just no point cuz you dont compare? you dont talk enough, you're boring, you do the same thing every night, whereas this other person can do whatever they fucking want whenever they want, and you feel like your best friend is just sick of doing the same thing with you and they would rather spend more time with that other person? and its awkward when your best friend tells you stories about what her and the other person did and their inside jokes that you wish you understood but you really dont. you feel left out? i know i do. i dont want to lose one of my best friends. i dont at all. and i feel like its happening, again. why does this always happen? why doesnt it always happen to me? this is like the second time in one school year that this has happened. and now that i think about it, it must have something to do with me. i dont want my best friend to rather hang out with someone else. i dont want to have to look at her profile on AIM and see oh BFF4LIFE!! and not ever see  mine name, but two other peroples names instead. this really isnt making much sense. but i dont want to lose another friend. especially this one. i just cant compete. i hope everyone had a great spring break. see you guys on monday. READ (5) CMNT

[Tuesday March 7th, 2006 6:47pm] shitty pissed off lots of homework lots of reading failing math kinda (but im passing all my other classes so i think ill be okay) almost ineligible for softball everythings going downhill for me at the moment. except for the fact that sunnyslope frosh softball is fuckin undefeated and we have killed every team we have played so bring it on and we'Ll whip yo asses too =D the concert last tuesday kicked asssss the academy is.../hellogoodbye/acceptance/panic hellogoodbye deff put on the best show. the academy is was second best even though panic is inda shitty in general, they do put on a good show i will admit but thats okayy idk whatever haha its funny cuz nobody is gonna see this entry so im just like talking to myself. ok peace out girl scouts READ (4) CMNT

[Thursday March 2nd, 2006 6:46pm] [ music | down and out- the academy is... ] HAHA NO ONE LOOKS HERE ANYMORE!! or is it that people look, and just dont comment livejournal is dead. READ (2) CMNT

[Sunday February 26th, 2006 11:25am] [ music | sudden death i carolina ] i loved this weekend it doesnt even matter that i was caught on friday i dont even like care about that it definitely changed my perspective on things. i realize that my dad really does trust me, way more than i thought and it wasnt like i was drunk or anything. i just didnt call him and tell him we were going to nikkis thats it. well, because i didnt call him, i was grounnded saturday night i wasnt even grounded saturday day, only the night. so saturday, i did some chores, went to lunch with willma, brandonino, and marizzle then my cousin came over with us, and we went and saw final destination 3, minues brandonino, plus clairee. then just me and my cousin came back home and we rented saw 2 and harold and jumar go to white castle and we bought shanghai noon and shanghai knights. so we watched saw 2 and white castle, then she had to leave. after she left, it was like 10 or something, and my neighbors came over and we had a ping pong tournament im proud to say i lasted through like 5 games out of like the 7 or 8 that were played then my bro and i watched shanghai noon and fel asleep i think that was a pretty good night considering i was grounded lol i hope everyone had a good weekend. READ (0) CMNT

[Saturday February 18th, 2006 1:41pm] i love prank calling. READ (0) CMNT

[Wednesday February 15th, 2006 8:56pm] [ mood | grateful ] [ music | chocolate - the snow patrol ] uhh this weekend kinda sucked balllsss but its okay, cuz this weekend will definately make up for it. well nothing is really new with me. i just felt it needed an update, for some reason. nobody really uses lj anymore, its kinda sad. remember when it was like soooo coool to have a livejournal? i mean EVERYONE had one. and it was tight and people commented and actually looked at the entries. now, its just kinda there for when people are bored and nobody looks at the entries, and nobody comments. well, i still use it. i still look at entries, haha, just thinking about it, i remember when i first got my lj, my get low one, and lauren did my layout, and it was lil jon in the backround, and it said drop it like its hott or something. that was so tight. i've realized that i really dont like all the screamy music. and im not saying its bad or anything, cuz i know many people do like it, but i just dont. it doesnt really fit my mood anymore. ya that was super random, but i thought i would get that out of me. also, that i do like highschool, but i hate how its changed so many things and people. and that i really enjoy taking showers. and that i hate my new phone because it's flippin gigantic and that mariah, bekka, and sophie are my best friends in the entire world, and always will be no matter what. and my favorite quote of all time is "life moves pretty fast. if you dont stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." - ferris buellers day off READ (4) CMNT

[Thursday February 9th, 2006 9:43pm] [ mood | sore ] [ music | the postal service - such great heights ] kinda a random update i guess... last weekend was pretty much the bestttt weekend of my life. friday my cousins were in town and we went tping. and it was pretttyyy sweet. saturday mariah, bekka, sophie, amanda h, sara, and dani came to my house and we kinda chilled til like 5 in the morning somethinglike that. anypoo i made freshman softball im really lookin forward to the season cuz we have kinda a kick ass team and everything... boys pretty much suck, they never know what they want and can never EVER make up their minds.. so screw that. tomarrow i get to hang out with claire and im really excited AND i get to hang out with the wonderful AMANDA WHITEEEE and that should pretty much make my life right there. considering how i love her so much and how i havent seen her in like AGES. so yeah well, school is going okay i guess. im doing good in all my classes. its boring, im getting better times on my mile run cuz now im not gonna be a slacker in p.e. anymore. well i have to go write my english essay so uh later. READ (4) CMNT

[Sunday January 29th, 2006 3:37pm] [ music | california - phantom planet ] i had a lot of fun this weekend. friday, mariah and i went to alecs house for a barbeque. easton left brian with his car keys, so we took a joy ride. and nobody in the car had their liscence, except for brian who only had his permit lol. anyways, i watched wedding crashers at least 4 times this weekend. saturday, mariah bekka and i went shopping, but only for like an hour, and then bekka and i went nd babshitted this kid, and he cried a lot. i mean, he was like screaming bloody murder for like an hour. then he finally went to sleep so bekka and i had the huge house to ourselves for like 2 hours. by the way, the house looks EXACTLY like emmas, except just a tiny bit smalllller. yeah. we watched this thing on the cooking channel and it was like an elvis cake contest. it was so tight. so then we just went abck to bekkas after that and chilled and fell asleep. but del's a retard and called atlike midnight and was like COME OVER CUZ IM A RETARD! and i was like if u get me a ride i will, and he was like ok then and he actually had a ride but bekka didn wanna go so we were lik eh some other time. then today, sunday, bekka and i watched the grudge, miss congeniality 2, and harold and kumar go to white castle. then we walked and got panda express and some ice cream. and now im at home. and its my mommys birthday!! peace out homies. edit- everything is in shambles. im just sickkkk of it now. READ (1) CMNT

[Wednesday January 25th, 2006 3:28pm] [ music | a mess to be made - the format ] i just hate it when people not necessarily go back on their word, but they comletely forget about something/someone, then right when u start remembering, the other person is like oh ya im a bitch and i remember too! i guess that really didnt make much sense. thats just how ive been feeling lately. not just like pissed, because im not pissed, just a little frusterated and kinda sad. i dont really know how to put this so you guys will understand. its like theres two people. and theres only one cookie. and one person wants the cookie at first, then completely forgets about it or so it seems. then that other person thinks its ok to have the cookie just because the other person forgot about it. but then that other person who forgot, remembers the cookie and is like YES YUM COOKIE!! and the other person is just sitting there like fuck man u forgot thats not cool! but apperently it is cool. cuz that first person called dibbs on that cookie first, right? maybe. im not even sure anymore. do i even want this cookie? will this other person be mad if they found out that i like the cookie and that i want it too? what would they do if they did find out? cuz of course they will eventually. is the cookie worth breaking the friendship? or is the broken friendship worth the cookie? well, lets say that this person isnt like a best best friend, but its a friend. is it worth it then? should i follow what my other friends tell me to do? i should talk to the other person shouldnt i. but its hard, because the other person is after like two OTHER cookies. and im just sitting here like, well is it ok if i have that one cookie cuz u want those other ones? of course its not. this friend isnt like that. this friend gets what she wants. this friend would probably be pissed if i took her fuckin cookie. see but should a cookie really break a friendship? i dont really think it should. maybe i need to grow up and talk to the person. i mean, i've already talked to the cookie, and it didnt help much in my situation. and on top of this, the cookie and the person are starting to talk. which is a good thing for the person, considering she doesnt know i like the cookie. but what would she do if she did know? how am i going to tell her? its obviously gotten too far with the cookie to go back now. what would the cookie do if all the sudden i was like "i cant. my friend wants you too, and i cant do that to her"? its not that easy. it's really not. it just sucks to have to like hold my feelings in, and have this other person bragging all the time about how many cookies she likes and how apperently they ALL like her too. i really like the cookie actually, but i just dont know what to do. what to say. how to talk to the other person about it. this other person is always talking about how she talked to the cookie and omg he talked back. well duh. yeah ive talked to the cookie too. i thought the cookie liked me too, but i might be wrong. the cookie and this other person have been talking lately. i dont know. maybe im just blowing this way out of proportion. i really hope so. but i know for a fact that i cant talk to the person until she brings it up. i cant just be like oh ya i like the cookie too. but so do u, so it sucks. and u called it first so i have to give up. i dont want to do that. i dont want to give up. i reallllly dont. i need someone to talk to the person for me. i hate doing that, because that just makes me seem like i dont have any guts. but in this kind of situation i dont have any balls. i dont want to talk to this person myself because what if she gets pissed? what if she gets pissed that i didnt come and talk to her sooner? this person is so hard to predict that its just hard to talk to her. and it sucks. if i had the balls i needed than this situation wouldnt have happened in the first place. i could just talk to her and hope that everything would be cool. maybe it will end up that way. i'll have to wait it out. but i dont want to wait anymore. im not gonna hide my feelings for the cookie any longer, i just dont know what to say. i've put a lot of thought into my situation, and i still dont know what to do. i know that this was long and probably hard to understand, but i needed to say something. and haha it sucks that neeither the cookie or the person will read this, but at least someone knows. READ (6) CMNT

[Sunday January 22nd, 2006 10:39am] [ music | call n return - hellogoodbye ] this weekend was good. i didnt do ANYTHING with my friends which i think i needed as a break. nathan was out of town :( but my cousins were in town. so i hung out with them the whole weekend and it was very fun. megan and i did a lot of shopping, and megan casey and i watched emily in her cheer competition. bad news. i went over my text messaging by 2800 texts. :) so my dad changed my plan and now i only have to pay what i went over 2500 texts. so yeah. oh and i cant text til midnight tomarrow. so that means nobody text me or its gonna cost me more dinerooo good news. DEL ISNT MAD AT ME ANYMORE!!! yay anyways.. i hope everyone had a good weekend READ (4) CMNT

shit son.. this hurrts [Friday January 6th, 2006 9:09am] [ mood | numb ] [ music | beyonce ]   so today i pretty much died. i was straightening my hair because i was planning on going to school. so i just got the chi straightener for xmas. and it is REALLLL  mutha fuckin hot. so, when i wasnt looking, i thought i was grabbing the handle of it, but noo. i was grabbing the reallly super hot part. so i practically burned 3 of my fingers off. i was all crying and shit. i dont think i have been in that much pain. soo. i was sitting by the sink for like 20 minutes just letting cold water run down on my hand. and if it wasnt under cold water, i would like scream because it was burn so bad.  so i was like mom i cant go to school like this. and she was like ok but if u go to school late u cans till go out tonight. so im planning on going in later on if my hand feels better. it hurts so much/ no joke. like its taking me so long to type this its not even funny. so like, my pinky finger is all fucked up and it has this HUGE blister at te top, and the same with my ring finger, and then my middle finger is just all shitty lookin and red. but everything else is fine. other than the fact that it KILLS to touch anything with those fingers.  plus they are all numb and shit. uhggg it hurts sooo badddddddddddd. READ (1) CMNT

the start was something good, but some good things must end. [Saturday December 31st, 2005 12:43pm] [ mood | crazy ] [ music | apple shampoo - blizink 182 ]     today is december 31. happy birthday gracie happy birthday casey   happy new years everyone. i hope everyone has a kick ass night and a kick ass year. peace out.   READ (1) CMNT

[Friday December 30th, 2005 2:50pm] [ music | the mixed tape ] here are pictures from like a million years ago?   ( on your machine i slur a plea for you to come home ) READ (0) CMNT

i tried to change.. but i changed my mind [Saturday December 24th, 2005 6:49pm] [ mood | listless ] [ music | whats my age - blink ] well. it's christmas eve. i dont feel like a little kid anymore, and that makes me sad cuz normally, im like HOLY CRAP ITS XMAS! I GET FUCKIN PRESENTS! and this year im like.. hey its christmas, that means new years is right around the corner. wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ya umm.. ill be random for a little bit. this will be the random part of my update? kcool. hereigo. i really love blink 182 i want a boy. i want someone to hold me. i love 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN geoff genrich is an asssshole. jk geoff i love you i got a new phone as an early xmas present the exorcism of emily rose is a really gay movie. my brother got a oiuga board for xmas. im flippin out bout that i miss hannah banana i cant wait for new years. nooo joke. my cousins from tucson were here yesterday. they sure are funny mother fuckers. my cousins from wisconsin are in town now. that will definately be interesting. thank god we still have another week of winter break. i need to go shopping. i lost my fuckin camera and im realllly pissed. there has been a laguna beach marathon going on all day. which made me suuuuper happy. and it doesnt stop til like 1130 tonight. then there is a super sweet 16 marathon. i love this. lol i want to go to mexico. i miss the way things used to be. i really like how bekka lives so close to me i miss amanda white with a hardcore passion. ok. well.. i think thats all for now. happy holidays crackas merry xmas eve merry xmas happy haNUKKAh happy kwanzza and all that jazz stay fly READ (4) CMNT

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